boom-de-ah-da

The world is awesome.

I am a junkie when it comes to this. And i find this absolutely brilliant!

Definitely makes academia worth it.

I love..

Boom-de-ah-da, boom-de-ah-da.

i met the walrus

Brilliantly animated. There's something kinda gumbo-ass about this.

I leave the thinking to those more qualified, i think.

Peace.

Increasingly, or never our hearts off.



interview done in 1969, by a 14 year old kid named Jerry Levitan who snuck into John Lennon's hotel room in Toronto and convinced him to do an interview.

all nighter

The misty eyes of reminiscence always comes up emotionally. And I completely understand why.

an oasis of sound

- a simple and happy tribute to an amazing perspective to sound. they dance but mostly they pray bout love and war. thank you neil young.

the shell

-vulnerable, that's why i'm beautiful.

requiem for lennon

- you may say i'm a dreamer.

blind

-simply too bright

pasar malam

i love adrenaline

humans are dead

under pressure

angels

no more nukes, no more nukes

weekend

Its one of those days where you know the day before was a lot lot better, and you're begging like a child for a simple second of sweet yesterday.

But no.

Always moving, always looking, trying so damn hard to satisfy to the very best of my abilities, my simple curiosity about a world, that only a few years back i've seen nothing off.

When I first set out, everything was new. And looking back, always the same usual monotonous voice creeps into my head saying: 'look how green you were back then man... and of course, the classic, what in God's name were you wearing?!' There's always things that you wish you'd done differently.

But mind you, this aint regret. I mean I still, and always will, love those moments, but if i could just squeeze a little bit more, perhaps my eyes would smile. Because hey, if your eyes are smiling, then you're smiling.

But I know if I could go back and warn little-ol'-mini-me here, he'd be like: 'I know I can't, I know I shouldn't, but I must'.

So I decided, plausible deniability was best. Live and be free my friend.

on a highway to hell

All this while a dip and nap would suffice, because otherwise lets face it, you're missing the point. I'm determined that on these plains I would find whatever it is that I'm looking for. Even if I dont know what that could possibly be.

But that aint the case. I'm in a place of fog and mist, where the very figure of the shadowy monster you might call 'the rat race' resonate through my over eaten imagination.

Its suppose to be a matter of physics. Plain simple. Pick a job, and stick to it. But life does not give you an A or B to circle. There always and forever will be C, D, E ... etc. Dear jebus, give me a rat. A rat so good you'll bleed from your ears if i tell you.

I'm a hardworking man. I deserve to be happy. Live the life in an independent republic of cocktail that takes away the wrinkles and eye sacks, and brings fourth the smiles.

Oh yes.

Oh yes you distant away imaginary illusion you.

recipe for my love

Note to self, 0.0 production. I'm still, weeks later, trying to make any sense of it. I mean, who saw this coming? When I get back, I figured I'll drop some acid, sit down and write up this work thing. Maybe thats what I need to do to see this straight, to impose some direction, some shape on what I saw.

When I started studying, it was always in my head to end up in an office, simply typing shit and singing my la-di-da all day long. But, it turned out pretty well this studying racket. I mean, i wouldn't go as far as recommending to others to do what I do. Im lucky to have ended up here. Its working for me. All those years of pain and paying attention to details allowed me to just relax and enjoy the moment in a spontaneous way. Allowing you to look around and notice so much more of the context of whats happening around you, who's around you, whats on the radio etc. In short, the major components of any experience.

All we are now are just the end result of centuries of trial and error, that we forget the roots of it. It's deeply satisfying to understand why things are the way they are. Pay a little more attention to the details, it'll tell you so much about not just the thing you're seeing, but where you're seeing it.

Hoping on the tram in the morning and hearing the conductor greeting "Good morning Ms. Robinson, looking good today," as you pass along an unfamiliar neighbourhood, where everything around you are alien. Sort of like the kinda things that you read in children's storybooks. Makes you warmer inside then any pancake waffle could ever do. I found paradise in that brief moment of clarity and I smiled the widest smile.

So here I am, in a sleepy middle of nowhere transit point on the way to somewhere else. Me, smoking my smokes... and of course, still singing my la-di-da. It will be hard. To put a cover on this face. But I suppose this is another part of life one has to indulge into. After all, its all about the next life anyway.

Someone should paint me a face like Mona Lisa.

what you see is what you dont always get

I'm awake. I think I'm awake. I can find out for sure if i open my eyes, although I doubt that it would make a difference. The smell of stale cigarette smoke, rattling noise of a cheap discounted fan, empty cans and crumpled up clothes. Yup, I'm awake. Although I can't really decide if yesterday was either summer or failure?

A new day emerges, and with it hundred new distractions bloomed like the malevolent desert flowers. I mean, why not? Life is a stage. Nowadays, there's no such thing as 'real life'. There's only 'themed life'. The kinda life that exist in our heads, a product of the mind trying to cover up for its old buddy, the heart. Against my better judgement, I've allowed myself to be sucked to a trip to a theme park of a mind inside a theme park of a mind. Now isn't that fantastic. I'm talking about punching you in the groin and slap you in the face kinda fantastic.

I've distracted myself too much. And by that, I've discovered my real source of non-stop hardworking, over the top, excruciating will to attempt at the thing we call academia that turns us all into walking zombies. Guilt! Plain and simple guilt. I mean, if I could go all out on things that are unadulterated worldly, why can't i do the same for things that are pure and wholesome? Realizing is step one of the guilt process. And now you'll see me running for the finish line.

Go in peace my little friend. Frolic at will.

But i am sad. Sad to leave behind my university life and travels, to a lustful rat race conformed deeply by society. I know they say that when travelling ends, its a great difficulty to return, if they ever return at all that is. People simply go bamboo over this. In my own travels, i've come across them many times. Take Joe for example who i met in Paracas, Peru. Previously an Alaskan fisherman, he came to Peru, searching for an everlasting joy of freedom to live off the land, fuelled by culture and fed by his everlasting charming smile. Once a frequent traveller, he simply turned bamboo and finally just never went home.

But why? Maybe everyone is looking for that special place that makes them say "oh dude, how can i look at this and go back? How could i possibly continue with life as it was before after seeing all this?" I know what i want when i travel. I wanna be still and take it all in. Listen... Keep listening and say, "it's like a dream, only better. Why? Because when I open my eyes, it's all still here". I want to believe that nothing in this world could ever make this dream any better. Blows the mind away!

But i am remembered that anywhere i go, i'll always say that i'm Malaysian. Always going through life by understanding, labelling and understanding myself. So how could any foreign place keep me from staying away from home? Travelling is and always will be for the everyday ritual.

So i embrace this conformity and live life as it is. There's more to see and much left to do in this big beautiful world of ours. And i dont intend to stop and sulk here over the death of university.